


Lady Grimme and the Red Knight

by geminirising



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Aspect explanations, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Fantasy AU, I might add davekat but idk, MSPA format, Magic, Multi, Royalty AU, Sibling Bonding, Strilondes, This is based off of that one paradox space comic!, Wizards, first fic!!!!!, its 2014 babey!!!!!!, yes this is all written using the homestuck skin because i am an asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-10 04:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15283425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geminirising/pseuds/geminirising
Summary: A pair of royal siblings and their consort journey to liberate a realm from the wicked King Noir. No one said it was going to be easy.Based on the unfinished Paradox Space comic of the same name.





	1. Revelations

RED KNIGHT: ...you bear the mark 

LADY GRIMME: My birthmark? 

LADY GRIMME: What does that-- 

 

She is cut off by the Red Knight who, to her astonishment, bears the same birthmark upon rolling down his sleeve. 

 

RED KNIGHT: have you heard the story of the kingdom of rainbow lakes? 

LADY GRIMME: Beyond the fire mountain? Yes, of course, everybody knows... 

LADY GRIMME: ...The story of...the vanished royal twins... 

RED KNIGHT: bingo 

RED KNIGHT: listen 

RED KNIGHT: together we can finally overthrow the evil king noir 

RED KNIGHT: the usurper of our rightful thrones 

RED KNIGHT: hes this creepy monster dog thing straight outta henson RED KNIGHT: but like gnarly crystal henson not the stuff people make off brand puppet shows about 

RED KNIGHT: i dont even know what you would call a fetishist who was into those skeksis things 

RED KNIGHT: so how about it 

RED KNIGHT: wanna help me liberate a realm 

LADY GRIMME: Yes, brother. 

 

They both wince at the word “brother”. 

 

LADY GRIMME: I will join you in this quest. 

VICEROY BUBBLES VON SALAMANCER: Milady--! 

VBVS: Will you really believe the tale spoken by some puppet-obsessed minstrel knight we found by pure happenstance? 

VBVS: Isn’t that too risky, even for us? 

VBVS: The task of liberating an entire realm is not one that is easy to complete, let alone alongside someone you just met! 

LG: It is alright, my dear Viceroy. 

LG: Your concerns are completely understandable, however you must know that I have been searching for this opportunity for my entire life. 

LG: It has been my life goal since learning of my birthright to fulfill my destiny as heiress to the throne, and it’s finally my time. 

LG: Viceroy, I hope you will still join me in this journey. 

 

Viceroy sighs.

 

VBVS: Of course, milady. Anything for you. 

RK: okay now that youre finished with that 

RK: lets head on out across this bridge i was literally JUST telling you not to cross because of the horrible shit on the other side 

RK: i wasnt exaggerating any of that btw its just like a giant mass grave of terrible 

 

The knight changes back into his original minstrel attire. The trio make their way across the bridge and into the forest. 

 

LG: Riddle me this, brother. 

LG: Why were you posing as a minstrel, of all things? 

RK: like i said to prevent people from crossing into shitland territory 

RK: its like im some kind of troll who guards bridges or some bullshit like that 

RK: actually not troll that sounds uncool 

LG: You could have been literally anything else, though. 

LG: Perhaps, I don’t know, a cloaked hermit or something of the sort. 

LG: I just feel like that’d be more intimidating considering what you were attempting to achieve. 

RK: well one thats fucking stupid 

RK: and two i love laying down an ill beat and just spitting so much fire not even king fuckin noir could handle 

RK: im a POET 

RK: an ARTIST 

RK: shit i could probably beat him myself if it came to that kind of battle in the end 

RK: only as a minstrel could any of this make sense okay 

LG: Of course, I can’t believe I asked a question with such a clear answer. How stupid of me. 

RK: yeah so uh 

RK: ...sister 

 

The knight gags. 

 

RK: ugh no that sucks what should i call you i dont think I can deal with this sibling bullshit 

LG: I am Lady Grimme, and this is my consort, Viceroy von Bubbles. 

RK: thats stupid do you have any other name you go by 

ROSE: My real name is Rose Lalonde. Just Rose is fine. 

RK: alright 

ROSE: What should I call you, then, brother? 

RK: my names david strider 

DAVID?: real knightly name i know but uh 

DAVE: just call me dave 

DAVE: none of that knight stuff 

DAVE: or that brother stuff 

DAVE: honestly i hate it 

DAVE: im just dave the guy 

DAVE: heir to the rainbow throne 


	2. Chronicles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sibling bonding. A lot of it.

The pair of siblings and their salamander consort march on to the capital city of the Kingdom of Rainbow Lakes. Night begins to fall, though, so they decide to rest up at an inn in a small port village not too far from their destination. It’s a small, safe, quiet place with not many attractions to it save for the village witch’s cottage and the tavern. No one dares go to the cottage, however. All kinds of things happen within it. Unspeakable things. According to the locals, at least. 

The locals of this town are carapaces. They come in black and white and look like chess pieces. What is chess, anyways? You decide not to dwell on it, but make the comparison anyways. They are friendly and willing to help anyone passing through. Rose and Viceroy are polite enough that they get a secure room within the inn. It’s comfortable. Homey, even. 

DAVE: so 

DAVE: lalonde right 

ROSE: That’s my name. 

DAVE: whats your story 

ROSE: You’ll have to be more specific, Strider. 

ROSE: There isn’t really much to tell. 

DAVE: oh come on 

DAVE: the magic and the whole “lady grimme” thing 

DAVE: theres a story there 

ROSE: Well, 

ROSE: Yes. Yes there is. 

ROSE: My mother was named Roxy. She was a skilled wizard back in our village in The Land of Light and Rain. She was known in our town for helping those in need with her powers. She was special, she could create any object out of nothing. She stole from the void, one might say. 

ROSE: As a child, I was exposed to all of this and subsequently became interested in magic and the occult and that sort of thing. 

ROSE: I started learning about magic using my mother’s spellbooks. 

DAVE: so she taught you what you know now 

ROSE: Not exactly. 

ROSE: She descended into a life of alcoholism that impaired her abilities when I was young. She was in no place to care for a child. 

ROSE: So I waited. 

ROSE: I waited until I was at an age where I could leave that place I once loved as a home. 

ROSE: While on my travels I met dear, sweet Viceroy. 

ROSE: We’ve been partners ever since. 

DAVE: so why lady grimme 

ROSE: I stayed in a town not too far from here for a year or so to hone my magic abilities. 

ROSE: I lived in a secluded cottage just a ways off. 

ROSE: The townspeople heard wind of my interest in the occult and dubbed me the Lady Grimme, I’ve stuck with it ever since. 

ROSE: Now then, brother. 

ROSE: I have most certainly heard the name “Strider” before. 

DAVE: yeah i mean 

DAVE: most people have 

ROSE: What’s the story there? 

DAVE: i dont really like talking about like 

DAVE: my life and shit 

DAVE: but i guess since you told me about your mom 

DAVE: who i guess is my mom too 

DAVE: ill tell you about my “bro” 

DAVE: our dad 

ROSE: Bro? 

DAVE: thats what he wanted me to call him 

DAVE: reality is i didnt even realize he was my dad until after i left 

DAVE: basically 

DAVE: our dad was more well known as sir strider of the land of heat and clockwork 

DAVE: his real name was dirk though no one really knew that 

DAVE: coolest fucking guy ever like let me tell you homeboy had it all 

DAVE: hella talented too 

DAVE: i looked up to him so much 

DAVE: in retrospect though 

DAVE: he was probably the shittiest guardian/dad a kid could ever have 

DAVE: i mean he just did not know what the fuck to do with me 

DAVE: he taught me his “ways” which included actually useful shit like flashstepping and swordfighting 

DAVE: but also...puppeteering?? 

DAVE: he was really into puppets for some reason 

DAVE: his obession was like 

DAVE: borderline pornographic 

DAVE: std filled smuppets 

ROSE: Oh dear. 

DAVE: anyways i thought it was all layered in irony you know 

DAVE: some cool ironic schtick that made you the dopest 

DAVE: turns out it was some ass backwards fetish that fucking scarred my every waking moment 

DAVE: and yeah he was a good knight 

DAVE: but living with him 

DAVE: that was something else 

DAVE: i dont really want to get into it but 

DAVE: he like destroyed my soul kinda 

DAVE: not to sound dramatic 

DAVE: i just didnt want to be a knight because of him 

DAVE: i started to hate the sound of clashing swords 

DAVE: hated seeing blood 

DAVE: i thought hey maybe the minstrel gig wouldnt be so bad 

DAVE: but i knew who i was 

DAVE: i knew my “purpose” 

DAVE: hes dead now 

DAVE: one of noirs goons offed him 

ROSE: My mother died at the hands of one of Noir’s agents as well. 

DAVE: well theres the explanation for that i guess 

DAVE: they were probably found out 

ROSE: If it’s any consolation, 

ROSE: I guess we do have much more in common that we initially thought. 

ROSE: Two freaks of nature raised by people who clearly had no business bringing up anybody. 

DAVE: speaking of being a freak of nature 

DAVE: and this is just between us 

DAVE: whats like... 

DAVE: the requirement to have magic powers 

DAVE: and stuff 

ROSE: Usually it’s those who have the Gift who are able to become powerful witches and wizards. 

ROSE: It’s a bit redundant calling it “The Gift”, though. Since it’s not at all a rare trait to have. 

DAVE: do you think that im one of those people 

ROSE: Well considering the fact that we’re twins it is extremely plausible. 

ROSE: Have you experienced any phenomena that you feel might relate to magic abilities? 

DAVE: okay this might sound weird but 

ROSE: It’s magic, Dave. It’s always weird. 

DAVE: okay! 

DAVE: god damn let me speak 

DAVE: theres a ticking noise in my head like all the time 

DAVE: drives me fucking nuts 

DAVE: sometimes i feel like it could be like a symptom of living in lohac for so long 

DAVE: but i dont know 

ROSE: Oh. 

DAVE: oh????? 

ROSE: Well, as you probably know, I’m more into the dark arts than most other wizards..... 

DAVE: yes weve been over this 

ROSE: And you probably know that there are different ways magic can manifest within an individual........... 

DAVE: holy shit just spit it out lalonde 

ROSE: No. 

DAVE: what! 

ROSE: You’re being rude. I’m thinking out loud. 

ROSE: Apologize and then maybe I’ll reconsider. 

DAVE: what the fuck you build this up and then you just refuse to say it 

DAVE: apologies dont fuckin matter its not like i can rewind time or some shit and not say what i said even though it wasnt even anything TOO BAD youre just being a bitch about it 

ROSE: You called me a bitch, now I’ll tell you even less. I think I don’t even have to go on that quest with you either. Maybe I’ll just fuck off somewhere where they actually respect their sisters, Dave. 

DAVE: im telling you what the fuck would an apology even do 

DAVE: what do you want from me 

DAVE: is it the time travel thing i mentioned it definitely fucking is 

ROSE: Ding ding ding! We have a winner! 

DAVE: what 

ROSE: The ticking noise is a staple of all time magic users. I was just humoring you for a bit. 

DAVE: consider me humored then 

DAVE: so 

DAVE: how am i supposed to do that 

DAVE: the time shit i mean 

ROSE: Well... 

ROSE: It’s getting terribly late, isn’t it? We should probably rest for the night. 

DAVE: are you fucking kidding me 

ROSE: I’ll be taking my leave now. If you need me I’ll be in the room over with Viceroy. 

DAVE: rose 

DAVE: rose youve gotta be bullshitting me right now 

ROSE: Goodnight, Dave. 

DAVE: rose 

DAVE: ROSE!! 

DAVE: ... 

DAVE: god dammit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next few chapters are gonna be more fun i promise !!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> so like a lot of this is finished AO3 is just a hellscape to figure out and i'm stubborn so this'll take a while. still! if you're reading this means so much, this is my first public fic and i took on the challenge of writing it like a dialoguelog for the most part lmao....guess i'll always be terrible and pretentious!
> 
> follow me on twitter @earthshined while you're here!


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